It had been quite an unusual day for Anthony Igwegbe as the Banker in his late 20s thought back on the day in the backseat of a Lagos taxi stuck in the rush hour traffic of workers leaving their workplaces on the Island for the Mainland and on.
First, he’d had to push his car a good way through the 3rd Mainland after it broke down for reason’s best known to the Hyundai Elantra. Midway through the push; which was last resort after 30 futile minutes from the mechanic Tony had laboured to find for about 40 minutes.
It was nearing 8 o’clock in the morning and Tony Toni Tonee as he was fondly called by his pals or T-‘gwe by his co-workers cursed the predicament he found himself, “bastard worked all through last weekend; Galleria, Palms, Abeokuta wedding…” but his short-monologue was interrupted.
Mechanic: Oga, u sef no dey try o
Tony: ‘scuse me?
Mechanic: U wan tell me say u carry dis mottoh go all d Abeokuta dem?
Tony: err, what’s your point exactly?
Mechanic: u see say u be mumu. I no know wetin dey always do una bankah bankah sef, just to buy mottoh by force, una no go…
Tony: eiz young man, wetin wan cos all dat one now ehn!
The two had released their hands from the car being pushed and were now facing each other about to add some drama to the already building traffic of the 3rd and the apprentice who was steering the car, was now out just about to enjoy watching what he swore would be the pummelling of a Banker but HBO went on break for the day for the apprentice when someone called out, “Tony Toni Tonee!”
Tony: Ah, what now?
A car had pulled over just in front and Tony’s classmate from Secondary School was walking up to him,
Tony: Lancelot Akpabio
Lance: Tony Toni Tonee!
Tony: Okpara Lancelot Ogenetegha Akpabio
Lance: hahahahaha, you still remember all that Tony Toni Tonee!
Tony: How can I forget, Lancelot, how far now…longest time
Lance: Yea, longest time. Actually, I just moved in recently from PH.
Tony: For real? Militants were bothering you or what…
Mechanic: errm, Uncle Tony Toni Tonee, me I get customers for shop o if you no get for ya bank.
Tony: Ah, imagine what my car’s done to me on a Monday
Lance: Yea saw you guys pushing and I thought I should pull over and do the work for you guys.
Tony: You came to push with us…?
Lance: As in I’ll tow your car to a good place
Mechanic: Thank you jare, bettah persin
Tony: what da…yea thanks a lot man…who would imagine we’d meet this way after all these years?
Lance: Don’t let the mech get to ya bro, let’s just get going.
The two walked to Lance’s car; an Audi A6 and there was a small rope which they somehow got tied up to the Elantra.
When they were done,
Lance: Ok bros, make you go siddon for my guy ride, we go dey una front
Mechanic: I here u ma guy, (then facing Tony) God save ya yansh this morning
Tony was about to return the remark but Lance patted him and both made there way into the Audi while the Mechanic and his apprentice are in the Elantra. Soon enough, music comes from the Elantra to further pile the frustration on Tony who’d had quite the morning starter when his fiancée dropped the bombshell, she was pregnant…but not for him!