Tony: and what da f*** were you thinking getting pregnant in the first place. And better yet, I’m not the responsible dick!
Jocelyn: well you got something else right…
Tony: My God, what else did u do???
Jocelyn: You’re such a dick, that’s what you got right!
Tony: Have you lost your mind, I should be the only dick in your gaddamn life!
Jocelyn: and once again, you’re spot on about that Tony, you’re such a dick you know!
Tony: what the f*** is this b**** talking about???
Jocelyn: you’ve been such a dick Tony, you don’t realise a woman has needs too!
Tony: well I’m sure your B.sc degree means you have intuition
Jocelyn: and what’s that s’posed to mean???
Tony: well, I read Banking and Finance not mind reading for starters…
Jocelyn: *palms her forehead* GOD you’re such a prick.
Tony: Well help me out here, I work in a bank where my manager’s some crazy b**** and apparently my fiancée’s taking cue
Jocelyn: that’s just the problem, you never got over the fact that Bridget got that manager’s job you SO wanted…
Tony: …what makes…
Jocelyn: …then you drown yourself in your misery after spending three quarters of the day at work; probably fantasizing half the time about a job you’ll never have
Tony: Oh! So working my ass off at work’s now the sin?
Jocelyn: When you become a stranger to me, yes it is!
Just then a neighbour from the apartment just above stamped his foot on his floor to get the arguing couples’ attention,
Neighbour: Some of us are trying to sleep here!!!
Tony: And some of us have work to go to!!!
Neighbour: Then be going or I swear to God they’ll never see you there again if you two continue shouting!!!
Tony and Jocelyn stopped arguing and went about preparing for the day; Tony has just managed to knot his tie and stormed out of his apartment, leaving Jocelyn behind, who all along was pretending to be doing something when all she wanted was for Tony to be gone…so she could cry all she could.
Tony and Jocelyn stayed in one of the two 3-bedroom apartments in the three storey building at the Akoka suburbs and until recently, they had been just “next door neighbours” with the rest of the tenants; that was before the issue of Bridget getting the manager’s job at one of the top banks.
He had met her just after completing youth service; in fact she had splashed mud water as he alighted from the bus that had just arrived from Damaturu where Tony had just finished his Youth Service. Jocelyn meanwhile was driving by in a pot-hole ridden part of the Ikorodu Expressway when she bathed the poor Youth Corper.
Tony: WHY NOW!!!
Jocelyn: *alighting from her Kia Rio hatchback* I’m so, so sorry bros
Tony: I no be your bros, at all at all!!!
Jocelyn: ahan no vex naa, I said I’m sorry
Tony: O baby, sorry’s not enough o. I just got back from Damaturu and I remember taking my bath before leaving and…
Jocelyn: …and I could give you a ride home from here as compensation
The offer certainly caught Tony off-guard, he stayed with his parents at Iyana-Ipaja and he had been worried about how he would go about getting his luggage home, getting to the park back at Damaturu was not a journey to remember; how did he gather so much load by the way he wondered…
Jocelyn: Feel free to hop in whenever you’re done daydreaming oga
Tony: What? Oh, err, daydream, what for?
Jocelyn: Just get your stuff in and let’s go
Tony: On one condition…
Jocelyn: But I’m giving you a ride now…
Tony: And I need food badly!
Jocelyn: Ehn, you can buy gala on the way…
Tony: I don’t think you understand, I just spent the better part of 35 hours on the Nigerian road from a place where someone with sardine was King and the one with two wraps of noodles was God, literally!
Jocelyn: Oh my God, that bad!
Tony: Just the tip…I need real food and you owe me that!
Jocelyn: ok, ok, we’ll stopover at whatever eatery that comes first and eat there
Tony: You ARE God-sent!
They drove for about 40 minutes before finding an eatery preferred by Tony; where he knew he could get heavy food, and when he placed his order, Jocelyn cursed at the thought of how she entrapped herself with “this corper!”
As it would turn out however, Jocelyn and Tony were at the eatery for two hours before setting out finally for Iyana-Ipaja to drop Tony. Both exchanged numbers; Tony was fascinated that Jocelyn was a website developer working on her own having earned her degree two years earlier. It was from then on the two started being friends but now every thing seemed like they belonged to another life.