Having such reservation on an adversary is understandable but it can be baffling when a person is not exactly in high spirits over the prosperity of their friend or colleague.
Few days ago while watching a movie on dear old 114, my little cousin came to me (busy scheming football manager tactics in the room) to ask what my reaction would be if my wife suddenly revealed to me that she has built a house?
Half conscious of even his presence let alone his question, I replied that I’d be happy and why not? I’m not a fan of being a tenant as I’m sure every other Nigerian is not too but that’s another little matter.
To my surprise, my cousin shakes his head at me and begins about why such a wife would embark on such capital grubbing project without putting the husband in the know. Besides, he continued, why should she be the one building the house?! (not his words in quote but basically what he said).
At this point I needed to tap the space bar and let the game allow me little time to access this. Did he have a problem with the woman of the house doing the ‘manly’ thing or was it just about her not letting him know about it till the house was built?
Right on cue like a striker’s foot on the end of a well dressed, defense shredding true pass ala Robin van Persie/Cesc Fàbregas, Wayne Rooney/Ryan Giggs… he said “why would she even build a house instead of using the money to help with upkeep”; and by upkeep, rent, food stuff and all.
Thankfully my cousin wasn’t being overly chauvinist though he wasn’t exactly being ambitious there. Besides, why couldn’t he see the issue as a case of transferred prosperity; my mind reversing the concept of transferred aggression.
Then again, the matter of egos arise though in my opinion there should be none of that between couples. In all this, I generally feel the couple should build the house together and leave such surprise packaging for a friend of the union.
In the event of one half of a marriage – husband or wife – coming up with such surprise package, that half should be prepared for whatever misgivings that may come from the other half.
As for the concept of transferred prosperity itself, it’s safe to say most of us have a knack of competition in-built otherwise there shouldn’t be a problem when a family member hits the jackpot on a lottery but that in-built nature would move one’s emotion to wishing it was himself/herself that got ALL that money instead of being hopeful of getting a small share from the big pot….