Archive for May, 2015
By Emmanuel Adepoju
She rode in on a motorcycle. In her mid-thirties, I must admit she was a beautiful young woman. She was dressed in a gray skirt reaching just below her knees and a matching black top with see-through sleeves. Her braids, reaching way down her back were a perfect complement to her perfectly adorned face. She bore two bags; and that was how we knew she was the person we had been waiting for. One of the bags was a thick, dark green bag with WAEC boldly written on it.
About fifteen minutes later, we were ready to begin. It was my first time to be present at a WAEC examination not as a student. And it wasn’t long before I got my first shock.
She brought a pack of Identity cards WAEC had produced to identify the students. They were small, compact, plastic cards much like the…
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A lot of Black people in the United States can’t trust their lives in the hands of a police officer, hundreds have died in the Nepal earthquake, the Middle East remains embroiled in unrest, the Nigerian army (coincidentally) rescued about 500 women from the Sambisa Forest in a week…
… shit, the Queen of the United Kingdom was blessed with a fifth great grandchild but no, Romeo’s great concern was his facebook love making the simple request of having her first date with him at an eatery.
Could it be that Romeo was insulted by Juliet’s choice of eatery? No. Romeo had been searching for an ‘ambassador’ for a time ‘he is not around’ and Juliet making such a request fell well short of ambassadorial standards.
Was Juliet being a material girl by making such a request? According to Romeo, the yes to that can’t be more blatant but like the (in)famous 4-4 draw between Arsenal and Newcastle United, there are two sides to a story.
Before concluding Juliet is a Madonna, maybe Romeo should have considered ‘she wants us to meet on neutral ground first rather than somewhere (my abode) where I have home advantage and could have her fall in the ‘trap’ of sex on the first date’.
It could also be that Juliet had never been to said eatery and simply considered it romantic if she met you, her prince charming before the wolf emerged from sheep wool, in there.
And, admittedly, it could also just be that Juliet was just being ‘a material’ rather than a ‘wife material (1,000 yards)’, and a rachet one too considering how said eatery isn’t top 5 on a list by 9 out of every 10 people who have lived ‘uninterrupted’ in Nigeria for at least seven years.
Who knows, all she would have ordered if supposed date went ahead could be a bottle of water. You should have just gone ahead with the date (in faith) rather than assume she was out for your money.
Assumptions kill, still you went right ahead and posted your personal grievance on social media, perhaps hoping to serve a warning to bachelors out there on the ways of rachet women with zero wife material. All based on an assumption.
The part that got me irked enough to write this post was the Linda Ikeji bit that came afterwards.
You want to sue Linda Ikeji for ‘intruding on your privacy’ by ‘posting your (hormonal) rants on her blog’ after you posted it on a tool of social media, facebook… and you don’t see the irony and hypocrisy of that? No wonder.
Miss Ikeji is no saint like, for instance, Michael, but would Jay-Z sue an established gossip called TMZ for publishing a video supposedly showing his Solange going street on him in an elevator while Beyoncé watched on?
Complain about the scarcity of PMS, the hot weather and erratic power supply. Complain about bride price in Igbo land. Complain about ”boring Chelsea” if you must. But when you post your dirty personal business on a public profile… don’t whine, just take it!
In unrelated thoughts, Mr. Biggs slice bread is not bad. Cactus is a cool place. Pizza is between N1,800 and N4,000. Underground has branched from bakery to mini-eatery. NYSC allowance for the month of April hasn’t been paid as at the moment this was posted and it would be thrilling if Paul Pogba joined PSG.