Posts Tagged facebook

When Your Trust Issues Are Unnecessarily Bigg


A lot of Black people in the United States can’t trust their lives in the hands of a police officer, hundreds have died in the Nepal earthquake, the Middle East remains embroiled in unrest, the Nigerian army (coincidentally) rescued about 500 women from the Sambisa Forest in a week…

… shit, the Queen of the United Kingdom was blessed with a fifth great grandchild but no, Romeo’s great concern was his facebook love making the simple request of having her first date with him at an eatery.

Could it be that Romeo was insulted by Juliet’s choice of eatery? No. Romeo had been searching for an ‘ambassador’ for a time ‘he is not around’ and Juliet making such a request fell well short of ambassadorial standards.

Was Juliet being a material girl by making such a request? According to Romeo, the yes to that can’t be more blatant but like the (in)famous 4-4 draw between Arsenal and Newcastle United, there are two sides to a story.

Before concluding Juliet is a Madonna, maybe Romeo should have considered ‘she wants us to meet on neutral ground first rather than somewhere (my abode) where I have home advantage and could have her fall in the ‘trap’ of sex on the first date’.

It could also be that Juliet had never been to said eatery and simply considered it romantic if she met you, her prince charming before the wolf emerged from sheep wool, in there.

And, admittedly, it could also just be that Juliet was just being ‘a material’ rather than a ‘wife material (1,000 yards)’, and a rachet one too considering how said eatery isn’t top 5 on a list by 9 out of every 10 people who have lived ‘uninterrupted’ in Nigeria for at least seven years.

Who knows, all she would have ordered if supposed date went ahead could be a bottle of water. You should have just gone ahead with the date (in faith) rather than assume she was out for your money.

Assumptions kill, still you went right ahead and posted your personal grievance on social media, perhaps hoping to serve a warning to bachelors out there on the ways of rachet women with zero wife material. All based on an assumption.

The part that got me irked enough to write this post was the Linda Ikeji bit that came afterwards.

You want to sue Linda Ikeji for ‘intruding on your privacy’ by ‘posting your (hormonal) rants on her blog’ after you posted it on a tool of social media, facebook… and you don’t see the irony and hypocrisy of that? No wonder.

Miss Ikeji is no saint like, for instance, Michael, but would Jay-Z sue an established gossip called TMZ for publishing a video supposedly showing his Solange going street on him in an elevator while Beyoncé watched on?

Complain about the scarcity of PMS, the hot weather and erratic power supply. Complain about bride price in Igbo land. Complain about ”boring Chelsea” if you must. But when you post your dirty personal business on a public profile… don’t whine, just take it!

In unrelated thoughts, Mr. Biggs slice bread is not bad. Cactus is a cool place. Pizza is between N1,800 and N4,000. Underground has branched from bakery to mini-eatery. NYSC allowance for the month of April hasn’t been paid as at the moment this was posted and it would be thrilling if Paul Pogba joined PSG.

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Random Yarns, Cold Stuff


This was going to start with “I’ve lost interest in the internet… ” but all nine alter egos sniggered inside, at the same damn time. My mind took the cue and implored my fingers to behave, so they did… sort of.

They (the fingers) had just logged me off facebook, where I’d stumbled on someone I know oh so very well yet isn’t on my friend list. Blimey!

So I had gone to her/his page (I’d rather not reveal the gender), and you know it’s the “info” page that opens when you visit a ‘stranger’s’ wall/timeline/page.

Writing was the only “activities” entered, a good thing. “men & women” were among his/her interests, queer person maybe but certainly an open-minded person I thought.

The music got my attention. “Juju, Fuji, Apala music and JUJU” it read. Must’ve been two alter egos with a poker face when I lost hold of my laugh. ‘whatever is cracking this being?’ they thought. ‘Blame the emphasis on a genre’ retorted my mind.

This person’s gender should be obvious now. Meanwhile, aura within became frozen and led to the fingers, on the mind’s instruction, logging me off. Before they did; and they always do this, they clicked ‘home’ so I could have one last look at updates and friend suggestions from the blue and white interface.

One of the suggestions was a young woman I know not from Noah’s ark, yet she and I had about two dozen mutual friends. It gets better, these mutual friends were males. Going through the mutual friends’ list and I realised ‘she must be QCOB’, seeing as the list only had KCOBs on it. Those randy, good old clowns.

Logged out afterwards, wrote this (and PHCN restored power at the start of this bracket), went to the living room, made to play FM12 and watch movies into Saturday morning while mulling over certain drafts in my mind, including how to begin the third paragraph in the next episode of Toba and Bolu’s… existence.

There. I’ve always wanted to write a ‘cool story’.

P.S.: Then I remembered the ‘send friend request’ bit to the juju lover was left untended. And a problem with a number of us on facebook is being found in searches because we don’t use our names as it is spelt and so on.

Then there’s also being too lazy to look through the browsing history, which would take me back to the page and let me tend to the matter.

Ridiculous!

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Random Yarns – Matrimony


Marriage is the consummation and whatever more most make of the rites to living till death with that one person who apparently has become the nucleus of your life… and nowadays it doesn’t matter from what side of gender your nucleus is from.

Sure human rights is paramount to ensure one type of man isn’t overly disadvantaged but then, I’d seriously question my way of life if I was ‘wooed’ by a homosexual male… the female ones need only say “Hello, I’m lesbian!!”

Then Barack Obama went ahead to endorse the idea of gay marriage couple weeks ago. Against his own belief for the sake of pooling votes for his reelection? I don’t know. It saddens me, whatever the case is. Worse still, Shawn Carter endorsed as well soon after.

And Jay (in case you didn’t realise he’s Shawn Carter before now) -Z was quoted as saying something about gays having as much rights to marriage as blacks have concerning racism. That quote had me utterly disheartened, why equate gay rights with the aluta against racism?

Manny Pacquaio then said good stuff about the idea of homosexuality being against God’s will, prompting Floyd Mayweather jr. to unnecessarily make a comment about the matter, “I’m behind President Obama” concerning gay marriage. Just (presumably) because Pacquiao, an archrival, is against the motion? Plain dumb!

Why not be concerned with the scarcity of longevity and/or happiness in morally upright marriages? Are the partners in love suitable for each other? Is marriage a must? And if it is, is it possible or not for an individual to not be fit for matrimony (based on certain factors ranging from persona to the economics et al)?

Your parents are happily married and have been so for two decades going on three or three going on four? We thank God for them. Then there are the marriages that last 72 days, the ones that end in the husband committing suicide because the wife did something contrary, some others in which a partner (the wife in most scenarios) remains married to a cheating partner and stays pained silently (“for the sake of the children”).

The Church, by doctrine, would ‘require’ one to be married, to “go out and multiply” being a major motivating factor there. Islam offers the option of being married to four at a time, on certain conditions; for the males.

Family, in some cases, have already decided on one’s life partner before one’s kindergarten/nursery schooling has begun… I’m curious to know what the Illuminati and Free Mason have to say about this.

Linguistics would have you believe matrimony isn’t quite an ideal idea based on the process of Coalescence which refers to the merger of two segments (husband and wife) in order to create a third, independent segment (child[ren]).

How does it not support the idea of marriage? Well, when those two segments merge, (1) each one loses certain properties peculiar to it thus (2) the new, third segment born is actually a weaker segment since the parent segments have lost properties of it that made it what it used to be.

-__-.

Nonetheless, here’s wishing facebook co-founder Mark Zuckerberg a happy married life with long-time girlfriend Priscilla. This nerd stays winning!

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