Posts Tagged marriage

Random Yarns – Matrimony

Marriage is the consummation and whatever more most make of the rites to living till death with that one person who apparently has become the nucleus of your life… and nowadays it doesn’t matter from what side of gender your nucleus is from.

Sure human rights is paramount to ensure one type of man isn’t overly disadvantaged but then, I’d seriously question my way of life if I was ‘wooed’ by a homosexual male… the female ones need only say “Hello, I’m lesbian!!”

Then Barack Obama went ahead to endorse the idea of gay marriage couple weeks ago. Against his own belief for the sake of pooling votes for his reelection? I don’t know. It saddens me, whatever the case is. Worse still, Shawn Carter endorsed as well soon after.

And Jay (in case you didn’t realise he’s Shawn Carter before now) -Z was quoted as saying something about gays having as much rights to marriage as blacks have concerning racism. That quote had me utterly disheartened, why equate gay rights with the aluta against racism?

Manny Pacquaio then said good stuff about the idea of homosexuality being against God’s will, prompting Floyd Mayweather jr. to unnecessarily make a comment about the matter, “I’m behind President Obama” concerning gay marriage. Just (presumably) because Pacquiao, an archrival, is against the motion? Plain dumb!

Why not be concerned with the scarcity of longevity and/or happiness in morally upright marriages? Are the partners in love suitable for each other? Is marriage a must? And if it is, is it possible or not for an individual to not be fit for matrimony (based on certain factors ranging from persona to the economics et al)?

Your parents are happily married and have been so for two decades going on three or three going on four? We thank God for them. Then there are the marriages that last 72 days, the ones that end in the husband committing suicide because the wife did something contrary, some others in which a partner (the wife in most scenarios) remains married to a cheating partner and stays pained silently (“for the sake of the children”).

The Church, by doctrine, would ‘require’ one to be married, to “go out and multiply” being a major motivating factor there. Islam offers the option of being married to four at a time, on certain conditions; for the males.

Family, in some cases, have already decided on one’s life partner before one’s kindergarten/nursery schooling has begun… I’m curious to know what the Illuminati and Free Mason have to say about this.

Linguistics would have you believe matrimony isn’t quite an ideal idea based on the process of Coalescence which refers to the merger of two segments (husband and wife) in order to create a third, independent segment (child[ren]).

How does it not support the idea of marriage? Well, when those two segments merge, (1) each one loses certain properties peculiar to it thus (2) the new, third segment born is actually a weaker segment since the parent segments have lost properties of it that made it what it used to be.


Nonetheless, here’s wishing facebook co-founder Mark Zuckerberg a happy married life with long-time girlfriend Priscilla. This nerd stays winning!

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Retrospects & Prospects

“Some that were with us last year are no more and some that weren’t with us last year live among us now” is pretty much how the year went from my viewpoint, paraphrased from what who-I-can’t-remember-his-name-now said at a public function recently.

Oldest brother got married in February to a nice hybrid of nerd and covergirl and set alight a trail of weddings held during the year with one in June to a beauty, another in September to a fair maiden, two to start and end October, attractive and endowed… and one more in November to a stunner, to round off what became a year of nuptuals.

The children can all like to take semblance of their respective mothers and what do you know, February’s union has been blessed with a child just as the second one that held in October has been blessed too… think of the latter as the result of shots on target from pre-season. These men are no Fernando, so Persic with their execution I tell you.

Obviously the prayer is for the other unions to be just as blessed next year hence, the urge to tag 2012 as the year of the toddlers… leaving me to be uncle to more tots than the two I am one to at the moment… tots? Hmmm…

While we’re nurturing a next generation of the family, it is only appropriate to take a moment and remember the ones who now rest in peace; the aged, the gone too soons/sunset at dawn and even some that lived only a few days or months on earth… bless your souls.

“It never hits until you watch the casket go under” and boy did it hit when her’s went down… rest in peace ‘layo, with your baby. Yours was a most painful loss, coming just days after a wedding from the above for which you played a key part of. Surely you’re in an immeasurably better place.

A place I pray also for those that were taken from life in a most gruesome manner to be, especially through the spate of bombings from you know who over God knows what exactly. And there at the Aso Villa is a figurehead satisfied with reaping the dividends (legitimate until proven otherwise 😦 only to then be let go after the Court’s received its ‘cut’) of presidential life while taking the attacks as just “a burden we would have to bear with”…

I’d rather not delve into how disappointed I am at those who voted olowo ori Patience into office and more so at others who failed to vote because the other candidates “would not win anyway so why bother”, a shallow statement to make from same people that won’t let me hear word when yarns about fuel subsidy, budget and government officials let off the hook after posting ‘farcical’ bails come up… keep deceiving yourselves o.

Writing of deceit, MTN stays ever cursed and probably has taken second place from the Nigeria Police Fu**s as the most cursed organisation in the country, PHCN maintaining top spot as Barcelona currently is when it comes to world football, with or without the spite… *beats palm on Arsenal badge anyway*. There must be a figurine at Peter Hill-Wood’s office seeing as seven years would have passed since a captain lifted a trophy to the heavens 😦

As e bad reach it’s just three Arsenal matches I’ve seen this season, the visits to Manchester United, Tottenham Hotspur and Manchester City… all lost. My bp’s improved thereafter though, God knows best *sigh*.

And only God knows why I’ve not seen the movie Inception either *ducks in time to dodge thrown rotten tomatoes*. Wonder what’ll happen when I say I’ll make sure I know how to drive a car in 2012… *makes to scamper off cyberspace*

Compliments of the season as I pray your 2012 is devoid of the Mayans’ theory but full of successes like your life was a box office chart topper as I’m expecting the ‘Dark Knight Rises’ to be. God bless you.

Love, Punkenstein… along with the introvertive Mikho, self explanatory Alcohorlick, d_oA the dual ego -__-, OmoAfonja the razz one, the ever misconstrued Illuminatish, the indifferent one ‘Num, Leksyd the cheerful… and PaGe the new born… okbye!

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Random Yarns: Transferred Prosperity…

Having such reservation on an adversary is understandable but it can be baffling when a person is not exactly in high spirits over the prosperity of their friend or colleague.

Few days ago while watching a movie on dear old 114, my little cousin came to me (busy scheming football manager tactics in the room) to ask what my reaction would be if my wife suddenly revealed to me that she has built a house?

Half conscious of even his presence let alone his question, I replied that I’d be happy and why not? I’m not a fan of being a tenant as I’m sure every other Nigerian is not too but that’s another little matter.

To my surprise, my cousin shakes his head at me and begins about why such a wife would embark on such capital grubbing project without putting the husband in the know. Besides, he continued, why should she be the one building the house?! (not his words in quote but basically what he said).

At this point I needed to tap the space bar and let the game allow me little time to access this. Did he have a problem with the woman of the house doing the ‘manly’ thing or was it just about her not letting him know about it till the house was built?

Right on cue like a striker’s foot on the end of a well dressed, defense shredding true pass ala Robin van Persie/Cesc Fàbregas, Wayne Rooney/Ryan Giggs… he said “why would she even build a house instead of using the money to help with upkeep”; and by upkeep, rent, food stuff and all.

Thankfully my cousin wasn’t being overly chauvinist though he wasn’t exactly being ambitious there. Besides, why couldn’t he see the issue as a case of transferred prosperity; my mind reversing the concept of transferred aggression.

Then again, the matter of egos arise though in my opinion there should be none of that between couples. In all this, I generally feel the couple should build the house together and leave such surprise packaging for a friend of the union.

In the event of one half of a marriage – husband or wife – coming up with such surprise package, that half should be prepared for whatever misgivings that may come from the other half.

As for the concept of transferred prosperity itself, it’s safe to say most of us have a knack of competition in-built otherwise there shouldn’t be a problem when a family member hits the jackpot on a lottery but that in-built nature would move one’s emotion to wishing it was himself/herself that got ALL that money instead of being hopeful of getting a small share from the big pot….

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Random Yarns: Groomed Pet or Bloomed Flirt? A Day it May End in May & Voices

In the bustle of getting to school early one day; a futile effort most times for a lot of us, a discourse on marriage material arose among four students and to my surprise, they argued for the point that having a wife betroth for you seems the option to fall back on in order to get a ‘clean girl’.

Their paramount reason for this thought was that by the time one was ready to settle down for marriage after having ‘sampled’ across board, won’t one’s wife-to-be then also have been ‘sampled’ by someone else or a good number of young men; old ones as well, all in the search of who to settle down with.

Hence, they felt the process of old in which it was the parents that went about finding a girl they felt would be most suitable for their son should return to being the norm in this modern day…

But whether sampling before commitment or commitment by manner of betrothing is the way to go, time apparently is fast running out on making the decision (for those who haven’t made one) seeing as by popular consensus May 21 will see the world come to an end.

People just like to take the fun out of things really. So now that you’ve let the cat out of the bag, the price of crude oil has crashed and it so happens to be when most of us here in my school will finish with exams…

Seriously though, even Jesus Christ knows not what hour the Father will decide it is time but no no, some people are just in much of a haste for the end of days that from December 21, 2012 it’s become just over a fortnight from when this got posted? Make una no make God do us strong thing toh Gomorrah o!

Still with God (always will be anyway), when He speaks to people or what He actually asks of individuals we cannot say except be recipients of what a given individual says or does as directed by God. I ask however, was the message fully grasped by the given individual when received? In this post-jet age we live in, it only will be natural that individuals God speaks to; and I believe He speaks to us every day, are susceptible to being impatient in hearing the whole message or chilling to understand what the message is trying to impart.

Imagine Abraham, told by God that he would be made ‘father of many nations’ yet never became the king of Israel, Canaan or wherever but rather is revered today as a man of unwavering faith in God among men across religions; has that not fulfilled God’s promise to Abraham?

Then now, take Chris Okotie for another instance… told he would become President of Nigeria. Perhaps he mistook the timing of the message’s manifestation or altogether mistook the message itself. Hence I pray that each of us will through the infinite and abundant grace of God not be misled from our true destiny, amen!


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Days of Dread……

In a boy’s life, February 14 usually is a dreaded day…if only he understands the ‘skirt’ dealing man he’ll grow to (become). The boy also dreads mid-September because it marks the end of Disneyland fairytales and the return of School, home-work and those ‘damn’ teachers.

Monday! The boy hates this noun phrase of a day but it is not half as much as his father, “Gawd, Monday already!?!?!” he says when the alarm wakes him up abruptly well before six in the morning.

If you know someone actually named Monday, you find they actually are fun people (just a wild guess) but they just got the wrong name tag on dem birth certificates lol (no libel intended). So what of fellas named after the other noun phrase…Thank God it’s Friday? Unfortunately they can never be as fun as what happens on nights of dem days the world over.

Then there is Sunday, supposed pure of heart and all…and I used to know one like that but as time dey change, na so people dey change but some people overkill it with the change factor as well.

Anyway, these three along with millions more across the world dread the day she comes to him all yippee yay smiley…”I’m pregnant!”, a day even more dreaded when there’s no ring of proof (yes o). Some even do well not to be selfish…”baby, we’re having a baby…”, who’s been had now?

And much as women look forward to the D Day, it usually is that Saturday some seriously crunch football match is going down but dare his soul if he shows his regret (at missing the match, not at saying I do) because she is damn to elated…best to live up to the day or get deflated by her…literally.

He also dreads the day, years after, that his boy’s teenage sister would come home one day with some riff raff’s baby growing inside her…like he’s not got enough to settle with the madam already. Thankfully, that is an option in life – unwanted pregnancies but ‘book lists’, now that’s factory fitted feature in the daughters and they just keep coming (one’s in the University and the third is in Junior Secondary)

Time goes a bit further and he’s footing the bill of her wedding (the first) to another man, “I love him” she says to her father, “beans” he says…to himself. The other two follow suit, “double beans!”

On to the worse dread days in his life, she finds out after all these years…”you’ve been cheating on me! How could you, HOW?!?” He knows anything he says would be stupid but, “honey, it was the devil”…yea yea, and that devil’s prada was too much for your swagger!

Because they are Nigerians, they dread court days but that’s just the least of it. She dreads the day she’ll be the one among her peers on the end of goosip talk of having no husband or his money to flaunt, “Prisca had it real bad…not me!”. He meanwhile now dreads the day she finds out he’s helping himself with…on the maid/house-help.

Ah yes, the chores have piled up recently so he’s been lending a third hand all around the house. But (sh)it happens, she let’s go of vomit in madam’s presence, prompting basic instinct to set in, “who’s the bastard responsible???”. She’s thinking it’s Hassan the gateman but, “n…n…na…ei, madam abeg…na oga”…it’s over for Angela to house-help(ing).

Rage! “Hell hath no fury…” comes to life in full adrenaline flow and madam pummels the poor girl before going inside to make him his favourite dinner…no no, no poison, that’s for Nollywood!

They have an argument on his way to bed and at the top of the stairs, it gets very heated and she shoves him. He misses a step and goes down the flight of stairs, head banging hard on the marble floor at the end.

The worst dread days arrive abruptly, the day he dies…if only he had gone for confession rather than answer Coleen’s call; “stupid 300L ‘lag girl, why did y…” he dies!. For her, her worst dreaded day will come soon after, she now will face his relatives and this time, they’re right!

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